On the night of November 19, at the Latvian National Library, the first free concert to come in the next century, "For Love. 18+". Jānis Šipkēvics with his contemporaries compiled concerts, where the latest performances were performed by the most powerful love songs written by various musicians.
For the theme "For Love. 18+" the theme is love and the title refers to the famous name book of sexologist Jānis Zālītis. You talk about love and relationships in the language of music, but why do you feel about relationships in general?
So we come to the question: why is it important to speak in general? One of them is what we think or feel internally, but what else must be formulated hard on others. It's not for nothing that psychotherapy – science and techniques that help people solve important problems, and express their thoughts, feelings, emotions, so that others can hear them. This concert invites you to look confidently in the eyes of others, let go of fear of being open and feeling safe here with people who love us and who love us.
The repertoire and atmosphere of the concert is a direct call to open love. We have chosen songs that, in our opinion, truly embody the manifestation of love, they show that we have a desire to be close and warm with each other. Only in everyday life that sometimes remains the second plan … However, it's good to see that we can see our future in Latvia, only ourselves as a nation that continues. But for us to continue, reciprocal warming is important, we must love each other and have fun too.
You have been told – the demography in Latvia is a problem and it is necessary to talk about it. Why do you think we arrived at the point that little children were born in Latvia?
The issue of birth is clear, but it is also clear because of the fact that Latvians were born, but not all of them in Latvia anymore. I believe that our roots transcend Latvian boundaries and, of course, the further they expand, the more difficult it is to maintain the identity from which we have begun.
But speaking of our own country and the people who choose to live … It must be realized that we live in the best conditions that have ever existed in Latvia. It is a demagogy to foster the view that everything is bad, that we all know and are entangled. To promote the role of this victim in people, in my opinion, is not true. It's easy to get into it and cheat everything is wrong. If we blame everything only for external circumstances, we will refrain from responsibility.
However, when it comes to demographics, there are other aspects. Demography is clearly influenced by the fact that today's young people or people of reproductive age take a very pragmatic approach to the problem of raising children – most of them wait when they are ready. This often means waiting for all the work that needs to be done, studies completed, big projects materialized and different dreams come true.
It's difficult for me to give some advice to others about this problem, because I also feel my childhood is fifteen years slower than my father. For comparison: my mother was nineteen years old when I was born. I'm thirty-six now and I'm just waiting for my first birth. But I cannot imagine that I could take responsibility for others for nineteen or twenty years.
I also don't think that children have the only purpose in life. There are people who have other missions. Women not only mothers and men not only have fathers. The child is a beautiful flower that thrives on us, but we also have other duties. And not everyone needs to be a parent.
How can you be aware: am I ready to be a father?
It was very difficult for me to formulate it, because I would not have experienced a sudden revolution. These are small things, people who are met, events that over time have gradually changed me as a person. Of course the role played by relationships, the feeling of a home.
To care for the child, you must be responsible. You have said: responsibility is freed, not savage. What do you mean by that?
In my opinion, the sense of responsibility creates independence, however contradictory it may sound. The higher the level of responsibility, the more you are not afraid of the big challenges. This is because you have been able to divide the big challenges into smaller multipliers and consider how to handle each.
But a sense of responsibility, in my opinion, comes at a time when you can see that everything that happens in your life is interconnected. If you have ever acted impulsively and you do not understand why you always have the same results, then when you see your reaction with a slightly more mature outlook, you realize that you are doing your best to bring the same results.
Often you have to be able to see what you don't want to see, you have to be able to deal with things that aren't too pleasant, so you don't have to shoulder your back with unresolved problems and bitterness.
If for twenty years you seem to be an endless line, about thirty of these feelings end and you realize that the time given to you is worth enjoying. So you have to learn how to say "no". When you say "no" to what you don't want, you say yes to something that is very important to you.
Don't learn to say "no" to take this opportunity for yourself. And this is a matter of taking responsibility. Everyone must understand and make decisions about being or not in one or other friendship, romantic or professional relationships.
Even though your first marriage was short, with the girl who became your wife, you were together for ten years. Have you found the answer to why love ends? And can the experience of a survivor help make the next relationship more successful?
I will not learn to answer why love ends. We have just realized with Aloud that we have survived our time with us.
We spent a beautiful stage of life, but then a new phase began. My second marriage is definitely not the opposite of the first. This is again a new step in life.
There are people who, after divorce, cannot speak or live in the same room, but this is certainly not my case and the Leldes case. We are still close friends, very supportive and loving people. In this case, nothing has changed.
Another thing is that for each stage of a person's life or development, someone can travel together.
Fortunately, there are couples who, with this change, can continue to do it together. But we rarely find a partner like that! There is a great need for great wisdom and God's blessing so that this happens. But from my experience, I can say: it is not always possible and not always necessary.
There is more power that at all times in life allows us or even unites certain people who help us through different experiences, learn and develop something new for us. Most people experience adolescent love, then love young, love adulthood and old love – they are very different forms of love. As I said, happy couples who survived all this love together, but not everyone succeeded.
But how do you currently see the relationship – expect a baby with your wife and it is clear that every child has a potential separation of parents to be traumatic.
I can only talk about the moments that I have, I cannot make a general statement about the future. For now, I can say that I feel calm, happy, and safe.
On the other hand, if people can start thinking about children only when they feel confident that there will never be further shocks in their lives, people will not create children at all. I think you have to believe in the belief that someone protects you and that everything will happen in the way it should.
Why is it important for you to remarry?
Again, I want to go back to the idea of concerts: modern humans have developed a high level of judgment and the thought process is very strong, but it is also important to feel the sensation, the impulse that arises from each voice of conscience. Often tells you what you really want. It is important not to question everything with the mind, but to feel sensual.
Wake up in the morning and go on the natural path in Estonia, create children, get married or understand that your real invitation is something other than what you thought before. This is an impulse that must be followed. If not, you may experience revelation that you have not lived your life. Because many thoughts reflect the opinions of others, not our own desires.
The first person to fall in love is our parents. But when we grow up, we see them as real people with every commotion and reproach. What do you have to do with what you need to understand when you think about your childhood and your parents?
I am already in the adult phase, when I think of parents, all the ability to explain and understand. Given the childhood I have for my parents, I think they have been brilliant with their duties. Of course, time has been different – in my earlier youth I could find many reasons to say that they must do this or that, that is, in other ways.
Also, my parents' divorce had left their feet, but they were healed. Apparently, this is my inevitable experience. Frankly, I don't think it's important for parents to stay together for all varieties. Sometimes it's better for people to be separated, even though the children are, of course, painful.
My parents like mom and dad love so much. That is the most important. I want to take it with my child. I also experienced unconditional love from my grandmothers, especially from homosexuals who had raised me for the most part, because my parents were very young and had many different things they had to do at that age.
I haven't experienced many grandfathers. My two grandmothers went to last year and I think many of me are right from them. It is very sad for me that they are not waiting for their little grandchildren who will be very happy.
But thinking of your future baby, I want all my actions, steps, words or suggestions to be expressed in the name of love.
In concerts, the stage is built as a place to live. What do you need to return to your home?
Warmth and peace are important to me. It is also important for me to kiss at home after eating. Then I feel very comfortable and comfortable.