Spice Girl Mel B has claimed to take cocaine while serving as a judge on The X Factor.
The extract of his autobiography published in The Sun on Sunday also revealed that he tried to take his own life in December 2014.
The 43-year-old man spoke honestly in the book, entitled Brutally Honest, about some darkest periods in his life, and admitted that he used cocaine as a "quick fix" to help him deal with his work and marriage which was turbulent to second place. Stephen Belafonte's husband.
"At many levels, I feel myself drowning," he wrote. "I have a routine. I am embarrassed by what I do, but I feel I must have it. "
The pop star, who insisted that he never took the drug during the X Factor event, told how he prayed to God and told himself that he would forgive him.
He claimed he would snort the drug as soon as he left the building after shooting a popular singing program, because it helped him "die of pain".
"I am a sad and sad person. I am out of control, "he said.
Mel B also revealed about her suicide attempt, which came during a live performance, and said she took 200 pills from a pile of aspirin.
Despite writing notes for his children, he soon realized it was not an answer and told himself that he had to go to the hospital, he said.
When he woke up, his daughter Phoenix was beside his bed.
"Seeing my daughter – desperate, broken, angry – is when I know the struggle must begin," he confessed.
The book was also said to explore his relationship with film producer Belafonte, which he married in 2007.
He finished his divorce from Belafonte in August, bringing their bitter split to an end.
The three-mother, real name is Melanie Brown, who was accused during the divorce process that she was rude to her and her children, while she accused her of turning her step-angel as a daughter against her.
Speaking of the book, Spice Girl, who will be going on a tour with the band next year, told The Sun: "Good, bad or ugly, I will peel the layer and say it like that. You can judge me or you can try and understand me. "